Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
