sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
