it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
