I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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