You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
