I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
