We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
