Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
