i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
bring money and cleavage
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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