If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
