yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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