Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't turn off my feet"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
