first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize