his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
