Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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