The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize