Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He felt like a one man threesome
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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