Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
