No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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