i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
