your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
