Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
