I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
