420 ftw
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
