he wants to bone in the snuggie
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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