shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
