I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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