dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
