But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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