the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
