Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
