does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
