508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
did you just send me my own nude
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
