whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
