Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
birth control should be required to get into college
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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