so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize