he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize