when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
