I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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