Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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