plz talk dirty to me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize