Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
