My Higher Power is John Stamos
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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