They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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