There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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