Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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