Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You pole danced in your parka.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
