last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
