I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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