There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
