It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
