I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
