I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
