did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
