Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize