I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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