No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
